i am a person who gets grossed out very easily.  ha.  no surprise there.  what grosses me out?  it could be seeing something nasty, watching HOUSE and DR 90210, bandaids, blood, people puking, smelling a odor.  

well last night, i watched the most disgusting scene.  the opening scene of GHOSTSHIP.  puke.  it begins all nice and peaceful... a party on the top of a cruise ship.  everyone's dancing... laughing... having a great time.  all of a sudden, a wire breaks and sweeps across the dance floor.... SLICING EVERYONE IN HALF.  N to the ASTY.  misty... you would have been able to handle it.  

i hope you are still reading and not puking like i was.  i just had to share that moment.

so... my studio purchased a new lense finally.  a fisheye lense.  i had been wanting one for so long.  it is my new obsession.  i hog the lense as if it were mine.  i swear its the best lense ever.  everything it touches (or photographs) is FREAKING AWESOME.  love it.  need one of my own!

this weekend i am going with a coworker to see sugarland, kellie pickler, and some other chick (who i love one of her songs but forget her name).  funny thing is... the concert is in lakes park.  RANDOM?  we'll see how it goes.  i am pumped about purchasing a lawn chair.  i've been wanting one but have had no reason to purchase one until now!  i hope to return with a ton of fun pictures of my chair (and the show too!)

zen

these are the weeks when i am on the edge.  its wedding season.  i work 60+ hours a week.... photographing families and families... brides and grooms... ahhh.  i look at the week ahead and have no clue how i will make it!  my boss has taught me the importance of ZEN time.  ha.  no i am not NEW AGE.  but she has made me realize that i need my zen time.  

zen time for me is...

taking a nap:)

watching a movie

making myself a nice dinner

reading a book (this is a new relaxation thing for me)

spending time with Him

going for a run

i need times to do these things or i will go into overdrive and go KUR-PLUNK!  

make sure to schedule in for yourself some YOU time... or as i like to call it zen time!

its raining right now.  will the rain ever stop?  its been a rainy 2 months.  i hope mother earth gets all of her rain out now... because i want wedding season to be a dry few months.  rained out weddings stink!  speaking of weddings, i get to photograph a wedding in NY this weekend with my boss.  it should be fun.  something other than a beach wedding sounds splendid!  :)  not excited about driving several hours to get there.... but i think we will have a good time.  its a big wedding-my favorite kind!

the best part of helping my boss at her wedding is... I GET TO VISIT MI FAMILIA!  i'm super pumped.  i haven't seen some of them since june.  caleb & kelsey are turning 3.  we are having their bday party when i am home.  its going to be a royal ball!   everyone is dressing up.  i get to whip out my bridesmaid dress from misty's wedding-love that dress... for the special occasion.  there will be tons of pictures... no need to worry!  

in other news... my boss gave me a full size bed.  wow... its the best.  even more... she gave me a pillow bed topper thing.  my difficulty is that all shifts to the sides of the bed.  argh.  i guess if 2 ppl slept in my bed... it would spread out more.  so as it is... there is a giant hole in the center of my bed.  ha.  whatever.

today was a special day.  i got a beep beep to my car!  aka keyless entry.  when i bought my car, i new i wanted to make some upgrades!  i'm so excited for this new life of not having to unlock my door.  next upgrade... cruise control!

this week... i've been reflecting on how i influence people.  i've always said that i desire to be a woman of influence... whose life impacts those around her.  have i been living that?  i want to give the people i come in contact with JESUS. not a recycled jesus... that is what i think he should be or what i want him to be.  but straight up JESUS... without me getting in the way.  these are the thoughts that have been running through my head.  this morning at church... i had a revelation.  i need the Holy Spirit (thank you Pastor Betzer for this sermon.  I NEEDED TO HEAR IT).  duh!  what was i doing trying to give people JESUS through my own abilities!  at the moment i surrender things to him... that's when he's able to be in me!  with his power... i am able to influence people and be a light!  

Jesus... i need your Spirit!  let me never live in my own strength and abilities.  let me find everything i need in you!

last night was supposed to be our first night of bible study... however no one came.  i was a little bummed out but instead... my roommates and i just chatted for a while.  it was so good and refreshing to have accountability with each other.  we need it so much.  we think we are fine... and can make it just us and Jesus... however we can't.  we need other people... other christians!  to push us... to fight with us... and maybe most importantly... ENCOURAGE US!  i remember that i used to think when i asked someone to keep me accountable that it was their responsibility to check up with me... and make us set up times to talk.  then i would be mad when they didn't do their job.  however... its our responsibility as christians to SEEK IT OUT!  if we really want it bad enough... we will make it a priority to us.  i need to make it more of a priority to me!

its my desire to grow... as a woman of God... and i need people in my life!

labor day went by too quick.  it did not feel like a 3-day weekend.  i feel a little strange that i didn't attend a bbq or beach thing.  am i un-american?  i spent half of the day painting.  my room is now asparagus green.  i love waking up to green walls.  white were so boring.  after one year of living here... we are finally making our apartment our home.  painting... decorating.  i love it!  thanks so my friends who helped me!  then, that night.. i photographed a small wedding on captiva.  it was interesting to say the least.  leanne and i ended the night with the bubble room.   YUM.  i have always wanted to go there but haven't had the opportunity.  it was really good food... and i even have extra dessert still in my fridge.

tomorrow... i'm off to dallas, texas.  i'm excited to get out of florida for a few days.  my cousin megan is getting married and i'm photographing the event.  i'm pretty pumped to photograph something other than a beach wedding.  the ceremony is outdoors in an arboretum.  it should be beautiful!  i also get to see my parents, andrew, and abby!  i don't think i will have much time for relaxing and chilling, but hopefully a little bit.  

sometimes... i find myself afraid... afraid to move.  afraid of the unknown.  afraid of change.  fear can definitely handicap you... and keep you from God's best.  fear can make me sick to my stomach... it keeps me awake at night.

why do i doubt?  why do i fear?  He reminds us... over and over again that He is there.  that He knows the next steps.  that He knows how situations will end up.  

i guess, dwindled down, HE IS IN CONTROL.  

it seems so elementary... so simple.  but when it comes down to day by day... it seems so complex.  

i remember a scene from FINDING NEMO where that annoying Dory says over and over again to nemo's dad, "just keep swimming.  just keep swimming."

i need to remember to keep swimming... even when i fear.